“None of us come to this earth to gain our worth; we brought it with us.” ~ Sheril L. Dew
Why is that we have to be apologetic for our strengths, our uniqueness and amazing qualities? Why is it so difficult to embrace them? I know, I know; you are going to confuse it with arrogance again. The two are distinct. Let me show you how. When you know your worth you don’t try to impress anyone and neither are you threatened by anyone or their successes. When you know your worth, you embrace helping others to grow and develop and you also freely share your knowledge and skills with others. You don’t find the need to be validated by others nor show off your achievements to others. You walk with grace and confidence. When you know your worth, you acknowledge that you don’t have all the answers or solutions to all the problems but you look forward to learning from others and increasing your knowledge base. When you know your worth you welcome being challenged as you know that you are not always right and as a human being, you can and will make mistakes.
This is something that I learnt over the years and I must admit, I still have my moments of weaknesses. The great thing however, is that I have developed a high level of self-awareness regarding this and I quickly catch myself when I’m putting myself down and belittling the greatness in me and ultimately my worth. Growing up, I was bullied a lot in primary school and that obviously took a knock on my confidence and overall outlook of myself. I didn’t have the courage to stand up to my bullies because they had managed to oppress me to a point where I didn’t even believe that I had it in myself to fight (not necessarily physically) and took my place as a worthy and deserving person. I fell into the victim trap and stayed there while these bullies continued to strip me away of my freedom, my value, my dignity and my voice. When I moved to boarding school at the age of 12, I then made a conscious decision to put an end to that terror. I felt that I was being given a second chance to take back control in my life and own every aspect of it (both the good and the bad). After all, we cannot control what happens to us but we can certainly control our reactions towards it how we let it affect us and our emotions. I have since vowed to never allow anyone to determine my worth or allow them to succeed in making me feel small and irrelevant. I stand firm on my ground and fight for what I believe in no matter what.
If you are currently in a similar situation or know someone who is, I would like to assure and encourage you today that you can get out of it. You have in you the power, the ability and the strength to do it. Take charge of your life this very moment and declare that you will not easily allow anything or anyone belittle you and make yourself feel less than what you are worth; less valuable, less important, less beautiful / handsome, less deserving or less intelligent.
Knowing your worth and valuing yourself has got nothing to do with how other people think of you and neither does it have anything to do with your material possessions. It matters not where you were born and raised, your level of education, the kind of work your do, whether you are married or single, the colour of your skin, hair or eyes, the shape of your body or the amount of money you have. None of these things determine your worth, not by long shot. Part of valuing yourself is also detachment from toxic situations and people; things that continually rip you apart and pull you down.
Thato’s nuggets on embracing your worth:
- Always remind yourself of the purpose for which you were born and let that be a reminder of your worth
- Search within for joy, for true love, for affirmation and for peace
- Spend time with yourself often and connect with your real self and your creator
- Create positive affirmations and loudly repeat them to yourself every single day
- Talk, act and live like a worthy person – refuse to be average in everything you do!
“Don’t settle for mediocrity. Take a chance. Take a risk. Find that passion. Know what you’re really worth.” ~ Anonymous